Painful Scrutinizing

November is NaNoWriMo month and this year, I signed up in the hopes that it would help me stay on track with my current manuscript.  I didn’t necessarily expect to write 50,000 words this month, but to at least get myself more in the right mindset.  Roughly, I’ve written about 800 words, give or take, each day, over the last few days.  That alone, has me pretty pleased with myself.  But I keep coming face to face with my worst enemy.

Myself.

One of my biggest problems is over analyzing, which leads to rigorous over editing while I write.  Since I know this is an issue, I’m working hard this month to get beyond it.  I’ve decided if nothing else, during this “writing” month, if I can remind myself when I see it happening – that I don’t NEED to rewrite right now – I may just get my goal accomplished.  Oh, not 50,000 words this month, but rather well on my road to finishing this story.  True, it might not be November 30th that I type “The End” and I may not have the most beautifully polished story.  But I’ll be that much closer to having a completed story.  I’ll have the start of my “favorite” job – over analyzing.  Rewriting.  Editing the hell out of my first draft.

The important thing is that I’ll have the skeleton of the story completed.  If I keep this in the back of my mind, I think that will push me beyond the limits I keep placing on myself.

There are tons of articles, tips, “secrets” revealed on getting to that magical END point and sometimes I find myself trolling around the net for them.  But someone very special to me told me recently – writers write.  It’s what they do.  You can research, study and take classes, but a writer simply sits down and writes if that’s what they really want to do.

She’s exactly right.  Sometimes I still research, read an article or two, but it always comes back down to the blank piece of paper in front of me.  Another fact I need to remember when I start getting caught up in other “areas” of writing.

It’s been said, over and over to the point that sometimes I roll my eyes when I read it, but I love the adorable Little Nemo phrase “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming“.  I need to “Just keep writing, just keep writing“.

New Novel Word Count: 18,069

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Life Gets in the Way

I absolutely love writing.  I love the act of it, the character banter in my mind constantly and the finished words I can enjoy reading back.  But boy, does life tend to get in the way.  And it’s not even that I’m so horribly busy I can’t write, it’s that I don’t make my writing a priority very often.

I like to *tell* myself it’s because I have so many things to do.  Working, taking care of my beautiful twins…working some more.  But the real answer is that I *let* my writing fall to the side.  Actually, I tend to go through stages.  A big boost of “writing energy” goes through me at random times during the month and I wonder how I ever lived without writing 1000 words a day.  Then it tapers off and I realize I haven’t written in weeks.

Sometimes, I sit down to write and my brain is racing around so quickly, I can’t focus on anything long enough to get it down on paper.  Well, coherently anyway.  A therapist has suggested ADD – but my explanation wanders a little more down the “Caffeine” route.  More precisely, too much of it.

So how does this help me finish a novel?  No clue.

Patience, I guess.  Maybe understanding…of myself, so that I don’t beat myself into a bloody heap trying to *force* that story out of my head.  Taking it one day at a time helps, but I have to make sure the frustration doesn’t overtake me.

It’s NaNo month, too.  I signed up the night of the 1st.  I was able to write a few 1,000 words in a few days, but it’s not really the type of accountability I seem to need.  I’ve also tried having someone else HOLD me accountable, but I think being creative…the whole concept of being creative, is letting it happen.  Not forcing it, not doing it for anyone else.  So I’ve come to realize, I need to hold myself accountable, IF I enjoy it and it’s something I want to do.  I have to just make myself find the time and just do it.  (Thank you Nike).

It bothers me that I can sit here and write a blog post, and not channel that energy into writing.  But again, I don’t believe it’s a cop-0ut – it’s writing.  It may not be moving my manuscript further along, but at least it gets me thinking.  🙂

New Novel Word Count: 16,244